Building assertiveness is a lot easier than you think. Non assertive people do not
generally want to transform into being excessively dominant people. Most people who
would want to be more assertive want to be able to resist pressure, be able to
stand up to bullies and exert more control in situations that are important to them.
Assertiveness is an alternative to passive, aggressive or manipulative behaviour,
it is associated with high self worth.
Assertiveness is a communication that expresses needs feelings and preferences in
a way that respects self and the other person. It is stating clearly what you
want and hearing what others want. It is not demanding.
1. Know the facts relating to a situation and the given details.
2. Anticipate the reactions of others and prepare your responses.
3. Use Open Questions.
4. Recondition and practise your new reactions to aggression.
5. Have faith in your own ability.
6. Feel empathic toward the bully (they usually have low self esteem).
7. Read inspirational writings that reinforce you faith and values.
What is Anxiety?
Anxiety is something we all experience from time to time. Most people can relate
to feeling tense, uncertain and perhaps, fearful. For example, the thought of sitting an exam,
attending an interview or starting a new job cause you worry and discomfort.
In turn these worries can affect your sleep, appetite and ability to concentrate.
If everything goes well, the anxiety will go away, short-term anxiety can be useful.
Feeling nervous before an exam can make you feel more alert, and enhance your performance.
However; if the feelings of anxiety overwhelm you, your ability to concentrate and
do well may suffer.
The ‘fight or flight' response to fears are actually important for survival because
they act as a mechanism to protect the body against stress or danger.
People who have experienced any sort of loss, particularly after the death of a loved
one will experience a number of feelings and it will take time to come to terms with
the grieving process. Feelings of yearning, anger, guilt and anxiety are common and
it is important that these feelings are addressed. A counsellor can help people explore
why they are having these feelings and help them manage their grief. People
should seek bereavement counselling when they feel their loss is overwhelming or
their daily lives are being affected by their grief.
What is Bullying?
Bullying is the persistent undermining of an individual often consisting of unwarranted
criticism, faultfinding, and exclusion from decision making, discussion and even
Individual events may seem trivial, but the constant nit picking ‘drip drip' effect
can have devastating results on a person's confidence.
Examples of Bullying
Workplace bullying includes:
- Open aggression and outbursts often in front of others
- Ignoring and excluding
- Humiliation and ridicule in front of others
- Personal insults and name-calling
- Excessive and misplaced criticism
- Malicious rumours
- Excessive supervision
What is Depression?
Depression is a term used to describe a range of moods from low spirit (the blues)
to a severe debilitating mental health issue that interferes with a person's everyday
life. People who experience severe or clinical depression are not just sad or upset.
The experience can make someone unable to cope and may feel the future as hopeless.
Some feelings experienced with depression are:
- Loss of appetite
- No motivation
- Cannot see the point of anything
- Thinking of death or taking one's own life
- Anxious and worried
- Cannot concentrate
- Intrusive thoughts or images
If someone is feeling not able to cope in situations; if mood is low and persists
for two weeks or longer; if the low mood affects every aspect of life, home, work,
family and social activities; it is recommended that they see the GP.
Symptoms of Depression
People who get depressed often report;
- Feeling guilty or inadequate
- Poor concentration and memory
- Difficulty in making decisions
- Intrusive images or thoughts
- Change in eating or
- Disturbed sleep patterns/insomnia
- Loss of interest in pleasure
- Compulsive behaviour
- Poor time management
- Reduced work performances
- Increased absenteeism from work
- Being more prone to accidents
- Loss of interest in sex
TYPES OF DEPRESSION
Depression associated will Anxiety Bi-polar depression or Manic Depression
Post Natal Depression
Seasonal Affective Disorder
What are Panic Attacks?
A panic attack is a normal bodily reaction.. . . at the wrong time.
A panic attack is your body's fight, flight or freeze response. In times of danger our bodies
bring on this response to aid our survival. We are built to cope; therefore, for
a healthy human being a panic attack is NOT dangerous. Having stated that, it can
be a most terrifying experience.
Attacks can be brought on by stress, overwork, loss, accidents, conflict, even childbirth
and surgery. Sometimes there may be no obvious reason.
Symptoms can vary from person to person but tend to include the following;
- Shortness of breath
- Heart pounding
- Blurred vision
- Chest pains
- Overwhelming fear
- Sense of choking
These symptoms are real, not in your mind, but they will pass.
What is Stress?
Stress in an essential part of our lives. We need stress to meet life's challenges,
to motivate us and to enable us to deal with many of life's demands.
Where the demands upon us exceed our perceived ability to cope we describe this as
negative stress. Most people describe negative stress as a feeling of being out of
control, out of balance and not being able to cope.
This type of stress has physical and psychological effects, and if left unrecognised
it can be responsible for ill health and can lead to long-term illness, professional
burnout, heart attacks and strokes.
Managing stress: Acknowledged and managed, stress can be your ally and not your enemy.
There are a number of things you can do to help yourself:
- Find somewhere quiet to relax or meditate.
- Work no more than 10 hours each day
- Make time for a break in the middle of the day. Go for a walk, meet someone for lunch.
- Have at least 1 day in 7 away from work.
- Take regular exercise.
- Try to think logically and rationally about your problems.
- Take time to pace yourself.
- Eat healthily
- Don't rely on drugs, alcohol, cigarettes or other stimulants to get you through.